Lies, heartbreak, & love.

Whew, 2017 is coming to an end. This year was truly a roller coaster of emotions; from happiness to heartbreak to depression to finding true love. This post is going to explain what caused my depression and how I overcame it. I hope it helps anyone out there that is struggling mentally. And if you don’t want to read any of this except for how I overcame depression then skip to the bold, italicized words towards the bottom.

January 1, 2017, I spent the ride home hungover without knowing that the year was about to bring me to my lowest moments ever in my life. As the months went on my relationship got worst, lol. The person who brought me so much happiness was beginning to suck the life out of me. I kept praying for things to get better but things only got worst. Crazy right? When you start praying for your man to get better and things only get worse, trust me… this is a sign from God to LET THAT MAN GO!! Without going into much detail just know I got left with nothing but a broken heart and a basket full of lies.

My whole world came crashing down at once. Nothing was going my way and I lost my best friend. For an entire month I was sad. Sad to the point I couldn’t eat, study, go to class, go to PT, nothing. I spent an entire month CRYING & feeling sorry for myself.

I was broken. Like why me God. Why do I pour my heart and soul into others for them to betray me. My heart was empty and I was at the point where I felt being dead was a better option than living but I couldn’t leave my friends and family behind. That is selfish. So, I turned to God. I never really built a relationship with Him so I figured I have nothing else, I may as well try it now. If you are not a believer in God then it is ok. Substitute the word God for “the universe.”

After I turned to God things were still not getting better. I was starting to think God forgot about me. But then out of nowhere, I felt a shift in my heart. I woke up a little happier each day. The clouds began to move and the sun began to peak through. I was no longer bitter or depressed. God took my pain away. I gave my problems to God and after many prayers and tears God healed my broken heart. I now look in the mirror with a smile and love for myself that I never had before. God is love and love is God. Once you find this then you will love yourself in a way you never thought you could. I wake up every day happy; It is rare that I am ever upset now. I only accept good into my life and rid negativity out of my life. The bottom line of overcoming my depression was: Loving others, giving to others, forgiving others and knowing God will always come through. He will never forget you and things will get better. Be patient. Think positive. Speak life over yourself. Understand that you reap what you sow. Not every season in your life can be harvest season. Sometimes we have to plant the seed, water it, and wait for it to grow. Accept that what is for you will come to you. You control what negativity you accept into your life. If you want a better life then stop allowing negative things affect you. Pour positive energy into yourself and others. Pamper yourself. Do things that make you happy. Stop living for others and start living for yourself. Understand you cannot control others but you can control YOU and how you feel. God will never take anything from you without replacing it with something better. BELIEVE THAT because I am a living testimony of it!

I am ending 2017 with a healthier love for myself, better people in my life, and an understanding of God’s unconditional love. Mental health is something I hold close and dear to my heart. I want others to know that they are not alone. We all suffer. I have daily struggles but I now understand the way to a healthier, happier life and a better way to deal with these struggles. If you read all of this, thank you and I appreciate you. Happy New Year and may 2018 be YOUR year.

xo, thechi

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